Too Early

This is how Discovery Doug wakes me up.

Sometimes, it's like he's trying to not be my friend.

The Jokes Write Themselves: Nutrish

Rachael Ray's now selling dog food? For real? She's just asking for it.

OK, as the Serious Eats post says, it is for a good cause. But still.

In the Mail

An offer to subscribe to Everyday with Rachael Ray.

Ha.

Because We All Want to Know Her Backstory

If anyone would like to send me an advance copy of Rachael Ray's new book, potentially called - I kid you not - EVOhno - please do. I promise to be objective in my review. I'm being serious about that, by the way.

Less objectively, is anybody surprised that she's been difficult with her publisher? ANYBODY?

Should I Feel Pity or Outrage?

Remember that time I posted a link to a picture of Rachael Ray without the supporting undergarments that her dress really demanded? And everybody was all, "Ow, my eyes! My eyes!"?

Well, this is worse.

Thanks to my sister for sending it to me without warning.

That Whole Rachael Ray Scarf Thing

After several days of trying to avoid it, I've started to feel compelled to comment on this Rachael Ray scarf drama (if you don't know what I'm talking about, read this). I can sum up my comments in one word: DUMB.

I've made no secret of my dislike for Rachael, but come on. She's not a terrorist. She's not even pretending to be a terrorist, unless you define terrorist as "really lucky and annoying faux-chef." I gather that the issue with the ad is less that RR is a proponent of jihad and more that a symbol of holy war has subtly creeped into fashion...but I still think that's silly. Don't get me wrong, I take cultural creep very seriously. I do. But I just don't think this particular situation represents an actual problem.

So that's one side of my complaint: everything's been blown out of proportion.

But the other side is similarly annoying to me. Dunkin' Donuts actually pulled the ad? For real? I have no words.

I'll grant that the stylist involved could've been more sensitive to potential misinterpretations, but can't we all just be grown up about this?

Sigh. This is why I didn't want to write about this whole deal to begin with. I can't even write coherently about the subject, plus now I'm going to spend the rest of the day rolling my eyes involuntarily.

In happier news: It's beautiful out. Perfect Belvedere Square weather!

More Rachael Ray News: Talk Show Ratings Probs? And SXSW? Seriously?

The RR Sux community is going to be all over this one. I think it might actually be proof that they have some power - and that is a beautiful thing. TMZ/Discovery Doug adds a new prefix to his name this morning by sending me this Page Six article (and it is long, especially for Page Six) about Rachael's ratings being in the tank, and the very real possiblity that her talk show will be dropped at the end of her contract. That's just one of her many media outlets, but what do they say? You can't walk to Rome without taking the first step? Am I even close to right on that?

In other, weirder news, I learned yesterday that RR will be hosting a day party at SXSW this year (warning: some of the comments at the link are not just NSFW, they're also disturbing). For real? In her reaction to the general disbelief expressed at this partnership, Rach is all "but I love indie music. Like the Foo Fighters."

OK, I don't love indie music - I leave that to my brother and sister - but even I realize that the Foo Fighters are, um, not indie. And say what you want about the commercialization of SXSW, you annoying hipsters, but even with my most cynical marketing hat on, I don't understand this pairing. Is she looking to expand her audience to include a younger demographic? Did somebody tell her that the people at SXSW are influencers? Because if so, that person should've also mentioned that she's got a pretty established brand and it does not mesh with the (also fairly well established) SXSW brand.

I couldn't even write about this yesterday because I just wasn't sure what to say. It's just...weird.

Has Bourdain Gone Soft on Rachael Ray?

Say it's not so! If a love-fest erupts between the two of them, I'm going to have to seriously reevaluate my position on her personality. I can't be meaner than Anthony Bourdain. That would make me...really mean.

He's in South Beach, though. I'm sure it's just the drinks and the sun going to his head...

More Reasons Why Rachael Ray Sucks

I haven't been overly vocal about this lately, but really, really, really dislike Rachael Ray. Her food, her voice, her weird way of wearing too-tight shirts.

Some celebrities I wish I could be friends with. Barefoot Contessa. Anthony Bourdain. Even Reese Witherspoon. Ray-Ray brings out the opposite in me. I kind of wish I'd gone to high school with her just so I could've said mean things about her at a time when it was socially acceptable to be cruel.

Anyway. I like her even less today than I did yesterday. She accepts money from Dunkin Donuts - but refuses to drink their coffee.

My issues with this: a) How wildly hypocritical. It's not like she was starving before she got that endorsement deal.. She could've turned it down if she wasn't into the product; b) Has she tasted all of her OWN cooking? I'm sure some of her recipes are good, but she dishes up a lot of crap, too; and c) Dunkin Donuts coffee is delicious. I'm not a huge coffee drinker, but I will take down a cup of their liquid crack any day.

OK, that's it. Heart rate's back down. Rant is over.

UPDATE 2/12/08: I realize that this is an old post, so it's possible that nobody will see this update, but I just have to note something funny. I got a new comment here tonight - an ANTI-Rachael sucking comment that mentions that if we don't like her we don't have to watch her. Obviously, but she's also pretty ubiquitous these days.

But I digress. What's funny about the comment is that I had a hunch, so I looked up the web search that sent the reader here. And I was right - it was a Google search for "Rachael Ray sucks".

I'm the one who needs to "Get a life!!!"? The minute I start googling contrary blog posts just so I can post anomymous comments is the minute I will, officially, worry that I don't have enough going on in my non-internet world...

UPDATE #2 2/22/08: Her husband is so icky - and I kind of thought they were splitting up? But I do sort of think her dress is cute...

UPDATE #3 9/11/08: More of an announcement than anything else. Comments are great, even when they're slamming me. But I will delete comments with lots of bad language. It's not how I write, and it's not something I want on the blog.