Seven or eight years ago, my brother had a favorite, favorite joke. It went like this:
Q: What does Snoop Dogg put on his salads?
A: Bacon beeee-yaaatts.
Get it? Like bacon bits, only in Snoop parlance?
OK, so it doesn't translate very well to the written word (which, incidentally, is how I heard it for the first time, too.) But it's not a terrible joke, and was probably even funnier in 1998.
And it is somewhat relevant here, as I couldn't get the joke out of my head Sunday afternoon, as I was busy making these suckers to take to Sarah and Doug's Superbowl party. That's right: Bang Bang Bacon Bitches.
Given my love of the spice, it's no surprise that I've been a big fan of Naughty Curry for quite some time. Their philosophy is one I can firmly support. Sunday, however, was the first time I'd actually tried to make any of their recipes - for whatever reason, I don't cook a whole lot of Indian at home.
I had to do a tiny bit of adjusting to make the recipe work in my kitchen. For one thing, I don't have a coffee or spice grinder (but after this experience, I'm totally getting one or the other). Also, apparently there are no Indian groceries anywhere near my house. The internet lied to me on this one, too, and told me that the Asian grocery about 15 minutes from my house carried Indian products. Apparently that is not the case, however, so I was stuck without a couple of ingredients (there are a couple of other Indian groceries in Baltimore, but I didn't leave myself time to get to any of them.)
So here's what I did: instead of asefetida, I used garlic powder. And instead of curry leaves, I used curry powder. And instead of a coffee grinder, I used my mortar and pestle to grind the spices, handing the job off to Cooper about halfway through (it's tiring), and my Cuisinart to mix the masala with the cream cheese.
Besides the grinding, the recipe was super easy - and totally worth it, even with my substitutions. These bitches are delicious and were a huge hit at the party. They're salty and spicy hot and savory Indian spicy. It's a good combination.
And a good introduction to the world of the Naughty Curry. Next time, I'll make something harder. And next time, I'll do my best to actually make it to an Indian grocery.