ARRRGH-Worthy Apps: Fourth of July Throwdown Recap

Last year, it was meat-in-a-casing and jean shorts. This year, appetizers and pirate garb. Next year, who knows, but it's already up for discussion. That's right, it's the annual extended Kelly family fourth of July cooking throwdown.

Earlier this month, Cooper and I, with Dixon and Bill in tow, drove the trustly 1987 Toyota RV up to Keuka Lake to celebrate America with Alicia and Mike's extended family. Just like last year, the big event of the weekend would be a Saturday night party featuring a massive cooking and costume competition. Also just like last year, Cooper, Alicia's Uncle Joe and I would be judging the food part of the competition.

This year's theme: appetizers (anything you can serve in a single bite) and pirates. This year's energy level: high. The phrase most often overheard, with respect to both the costumes and the snacks: "Wow, this year everybody really brought it."

This year, prizes were awarded for Best Taste, Best Presentation and Most Original/Creative (the concept award). There was also a crowd favorite, which everyone voted on, and a prize for best costume, which was also voted on by the whole crowd. As judges, we picked a winner, pluss runners up, for each of the three categories.

As always, we had a blast. The food was fantastic, the costumes were intense and the company was hilarious. To recap:

This year's party was held at Alicia's family's cottage. Most guests would arrive by boat and these waterfront banners announced that the Kellys are serious about their throwdowns. And about pirates.

A wave of guests (mostly Alicia's cousins) scout out the competition.

Dixon was ridiculously excited about his Captain Jack Sparrow-inspired outfit - especially the makeup. Maggie was a little less enthusiastic, especially about her hat, but she did enjoy a brief sword-fighting lesson from the master.

The Bargers and Bill show off their best "AAARGH" faces. Well, Alicia does, anyway. Bill was immediately called out for looking more like the Dred Pirate Bret Michaels than the Dred Pirate Roberts.

Alicia's Aunt Barb and Uncle Dan got seriously into the spirit. When you look at Danny's costume, keep in mind that it was a very, very hot day. Commitment. UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot to say this, but Danny won Best Costume. OBVIOUSLY!

Last year, throwdown winners got repurposed judges' medallions as prizes. This year, Alicia improved upon that quite a bit, making prizes out of lake rocks she found. She painted each white, glued on a "gold doubloon" from Dixon's collection and added a quick sketch of Keuka Lake.

Cooper, Joe and I took our judging seriously. Just like last year, we fell into an easy routine and found that we were on the same page about taste and appearance.

And now for the food:

The very first entry came from Alicia's dad Bill (aka "Big G"). His "Cannonball" - a perfectly seasoned meatball wrapped in pastry - set the bar high for the rest of the competitors. He was a runner up in the Taste category, plus he won Crowd Favorite (the judges broke a tie between Bill and his younger brother Robert).

Speaking of Robert, he delivered the second entry. Last year, he took home the overall, crowd favorite and best taste prizes with his Rochester white hot. This year, he got more than a little cheeky, calling his entry "Pirate's Penis & Balls" - and no, I am not kidding. It was a Scotch egg, cut in half, plus a stuffed pepper. Everything was served with a mustardy hollandaise. I thought the pepper was great, though Scotch eggs aren't my thing, and Cooper and Joe both liked all of it. And it certainly made us laugh. For that, Robert took home the Creativity prize.

Joe's wife Martha was a runner up in all three categories for her "Fresh Catch of the Day...plus tomorrow's revenge." She served us fried pickles and cream cheese-stuffed peppers styled to look like fried fish. Both the pickles and peppers had great flavor and we loved the funny presentation - anytime you're presented with a roll of toilet paper alongside your app, you've just got to laugh.

Alicia's Aunt Kelly was a Presentation runner up with her "Island Seaweed Empanadas" - spinach empanadas served with a sweet and spicy mango-lime salsa. We loved the salsa and especially loved the cut-up hot dog octopi.

Aunt Mary's "Sailing the Greek Islands" didn't photograph all that well, but in person its tiny basil sails were cute enough to win a nod as a runner up in the Presentation category. It was also a Creativity runner up - we were impressed with the delivery of Greek salad flavors all in one bite.

Aunt Barb & Uncle Dan's dish, "Blackbeard's Snail Ceviche," was a fresh and spicy ceviche of fresh Key West conch (Barbie & Dan live in Florida most of the year). We loved it, awarding it the Best Taste prize, and I have to admit that I ate more than a little of it for lunch the next day.

Let me see your "Booty Roll." Alicia's cousins Jackie and Christina went all out on the presentation with their "Booty Roll" - and took home the Presentation prize for their efforts, along with a runner up nod for Best Taste. Accessories aside, their buffalo chicken egg rolls were really very good.

Alicia and Mike were disappointed with their "Fire in the Hole," a smoky combination of jalapeno, shrimp, bacon and cheese. We liked it enough, though, to give it a runner up spot for both Presentation and Taste.

Lydon was a Creativity runner up with her "Dip's Ahoy" - a tasty BLT dip served in a pretty cute crab dish.

Alicia's cousin Logan went all Top Chef on us with her entry, "Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum." She served us tiny brandy-soaked cherries on top of marscapone cream, with homemade honey brittle for added texture, earning a runner up spot in Creativity. I personally loved this entry - while it wasn't strictly an app (it was a dessert), it was tasty and interesting.

And then there was Bill. He presented his dish - the infamous "Border Jumpers" (Tostitos filled with seasoned taco meat) towards the end, which is why I forgot to take a picture. He also accessorized with soccer napkins and a little castanet soundtrack, winning himself a special Mexican Soccer Award. As he mentioned numerous times following the competition, there was nothing in the rules specifying a pirate theme for the food. Fair enough. I have to admit, too, that I've had this particular app at more than a few parties and it's always a hit.

Following on Bill's footsteps, Alicia's brother Patrick presented his "Funnel Cakes from Hell" while humming carnie music. Possibly he hoped it would distract from his paper towel-themed presentation? The funnel cakes tasted good, though, and the whole mess got hiim a special prize for Best Carnival Food.

Alicia's cousins Kelly, Trish and Murph abandoned the app theme, but they did make us a pretty sweet 4th of July cake, which they pirated-up with the name, "Red, White & Booty."

Here are all of the winners, along with Cooper, Joe and I, after the big event. Do I look full?

Overall, the party was a huge success and from my judges' table vantage point, it looked like everyone had a fantastic time. Later in the evening, after most of the crowd dispersed, we spent some time with Mike, Alicia, her parents and Joe and Martha, just kicking around ideas for next year. Alicia has already opened the discussion up to her family and with a full year to plan, it's sure to be another rousing success.

Nobody, but nobody, does a throwdown quite like those Kellys.

Hot Dog Heaven: Judging the Meat-in-a-Casing Throwdown

Alicia's family is a competitive bunch. Last year, they had a Memorial Day burger throwdown. This year, for the fourth, they stuck with the summer foods and held a "meat in a casing" competition. The entries could be cooked any way and could be anything, as long as they included a meat in casing.

But cooking alone wasn't enough of a competition for the Kelly crew. As an added bonus, the party, which was held at Alicia's Aunt Martha and Uncle Joe's house, was a "jorts" party, so the race for "best jorts" was also on. Jorts, in case you're wondering, are jean shorts. We looked good:

There were fourteen entries in all and as a judge, I tried them all. My co-judges, Cooper and Alicia's Uncle Joe, were just as lucky. The entries received a score of one to eight for each of three categories: taste, presentation, and overall, which included the general success of the entry as well as the strength of the concept. As it turns out, we took judging pretty seriously.

Here we are trying the very first entry, the nauseating, but hilarious "Babylicious." I think our faces convey exactly how we were feeling:

This is a close-up of the Babylicious and yes, that IS what it's supposed to look like. It was a Vienna sausage stuck in bean baby food. Words can't describe how bad it smelled. Or tasted:

Fortunately, the rest of the entries were better, starting with the "Italian Stallion," created by a bunch of Alicia's cousins (that's Kelly holding the platter). They threaded pasta through spicy Italian sausage and presented it on skewers, as an appetizer:

There was one additional appetizer presented - the "Redneck's Favorite," which included bologna as it's meat in a casing:

Once we got to the entree portion of the evening, we moved inside and settled down at a table, Top Chef judge-style. Kyle and Mary presented their offering, the "Red, White and Blue" first. Kyle's good friend Gaeten is a butcher up in Buffalo and he created a Buffalo chicken sausage just for the contest and overnighted it to the lake house.

The flavor of this sausage was really outstanding - it came in second for taste - and the Eddie's bun was an excellent match for the dog. Unfortunately, Kyle didn't realize that presentation was part of the score, so his presentation was limited to his outrageous jorts outfit:

Mike's parents put together a beautiful plate -it tied for first in presentation - and a very tasty "Maryland Is for Crabs" sausage. It was, obviously, topped with Maryland crabmeat. The crab was cold, which offered a nice contrast to the spicy sausage:

Alicia's aunt who made the "Redneck Favorite" appetizer also delivered a garlicky, tasty pasta salad, which offered a nice break from the traditional sausage-in-a-bun format (and a few very welcome vegetables):

Alicia's Aunt Martha (also co-judge Joe's wife) created a fantastic entry, the Sonora dog, inspired by hot dogs eaten in the Southwest. The hot dog was topped with guacamole, salsa verde, tomatoes, lettuce and chipotle mayonnaise and the whole thing was presented in a sombrero. This was a favorite overall, ranking high on all three categories:

Alicia and Mike, who tied with Mike's parents for first in presentation, started with their outfits, wearing matching shirts (Maggie had a onesie), saying "I Boh Dog" - unsurprisingly, they also went with the Maryland theme:

They presented their dog on a crab platter with crab chips, a Natty Boh and homemade Natty Boh mustard. The hot dog itself was topped with the mustard and cheese and Old Bay bacon. Old Bay bacon - it just doesn't get much better than that, right?

Another group of Alicia's cousins came through with the "Cardiac Arrest" - a name that scared us and impressed us all at once. Their hot dog was topped with macaroni and cheese, tater tots and ground beef. Yes, it was a lot, but you know what? It was good. We also liked that in all its excess, it seemed really and truly American:

Alicia's cousin, Jackie, and her fiance, Jim, live in Cincinatti (he's from there), so their entry included chili made Cincy-style, using a recipe based on the one used at Skyline Chili. But first, their outfits:

That's a wig, by the way. And the pictures on their shirts are of them drinking Chymes, which is super-cheap Canadian whiskey. They looked good. As did their dog, which had really nice flavor and was something of a judge's favorite. We loved that they used a regional specialty:

Unfortunately for all the other entrants, Alicia's Uncle Robert really brought his A-game. I met him for the first time the night before the competition and he seemed to be feeling a little nervous and he was a touch concerned that Cooper and I might be biased towards the Baltimore crew (his smack talk was pretty funny).

He didn't need to worry, though, as the "Devil's Delight" took home first place overall, first in taste and crowd favorite. He topped a white hot - a Rochester-area specialty - with a homemade grilled vegetable and black bean salsa and cheese. The result was pretty outstanding - the crunch and fresh flavor of the salsa provided the perfect contrast to the white hot (which had excellent snap) and the colors looked great together:

Alicia's parents - Big G and Nana - took their presentation up a notch, adding a musical element. Big G danced their "Dogzilla" in to the tune of Japanese drums:

The dog itself was topped with a spicy meat and onion concoction with great flavor. Unfortunately, by this time, all the "great flavors" were starting to run together:

Bill's entry was totally different from everything else we tried. A few weeks ago, upon learning that Cooper and I had never even heard of the Taylor pork roll - a New Jersey specialty - he decided to make his own version of the sandwich, which includes cheese, fried egg, and several slices of pork roll on a hard, round bun.

We loved the regionality of it, of course, and thought it had great flavor. So great that we had him make us more sandwiches for breakfast the next morning:

And finally, the very last entry came from Kelly family friend, Duffy, who grilled the absolute longest turkey sausage we had ever seen. It actually had great flavor and we were all pleasantly surprised to find out it was turkey. The best part, though, was her presentation. You can't read it here, but underneath the dog, in mustard, Duffy wrote, "A Woman's Dream."

In our food-drunk state, we thought that was just about the funniest thing we'd ever heard:

So that was it - all fourteen entries. This is what my plate looked like by the end:

Cooper's plate, however, was completely clean. He still might not be feeling quite right.

Of course, the meat in a casing contest wasn't the only competition that day. Alicia's cousin Joey won an overwhelming victory for his jorts outfit:

Yes, those are Rollerblades. And yes, he kept them on for almost the whole party.

All in all, it was a hell of a party. I had a blast judging and it certainly seemed like everyone had a really good time. The jorts costumes were hilarious - from the short-shorts on the guys to the high-waisted 80's jeans cut-offs on the girls, everybody made a serious effort. And even though there were no real prizes, the winners took a lot of pride in their victory.

In fact, Uncle Robert, the big winner, was so excited that he wore his "medals" (repurposed judges badges) out the following day:

Now THAT is how you celebrate America.

Halloween Recap

I'm pretty sure that Friday was the best day of Dixon's life. He spent most of the day jumping up and down, talking excitedly about candy and costumes and "Mike and Lee-ha's" party (Dixon and Madison both call Alicia "Lee-ha". They can both say Alicia, but choose not to.)

Around 4:30, we got dressed so we could start making our rounds. Our outfits made Dixon so happy that I kind of think we should always dress in matching superhero gear. Here we are (and no, the reds don't match. Do you know how hard it is to find that many red things? A lot harder than you'd think.):

After a couple of family-related trick-or-treating stops, we arrived at Mike and Alicia's, where trick-or-treating was in full swing. Early on, Jen (Batgirl) and I took Dixon and Maddy (dressed as SuperGirl) to a couple of houses, then decided that they're really too young to actually trick-or-treat. They were excited, but lost interest quickly, which was fine with us.

Back at Mike and Alicia's, the party was in full swing, with kids running all over the place and a ton of food. But first, a note on the decor. Mike and Alicia are famous for being our friends with a perfect house. Two weeks after they moved in, they'd already painted from top to bottom and even the laundry room looked ready for a Conde Nast photographer. They do an amazing job with holiday decoration, too, and the season really starts with Halloween.

The front yard was full of the stuff that kids love - a skeleton, cobwebs and spiders, cute and creative carved pumpkins and (Dixon's favorite) spooky lights in the bushes. Inside, every surface was covered in crazy Halloween gear. Out back, the set was a little more grownup, but still fun - the fire pit sat on their patio under a big tree dressed with Halloween-themed paper lanterns.

As usual, just looking at Alicia's decorating exhausted me.

And, finally, the food. While Dixon dined on Old Bay popcorn and chocolate (he found a different person to open each candy bar...smart), the rest of us ate soup and meatball sandwiches and cupcakes and cheese and dips and a million other things. And candy, too, of course:

(The first three photos are courtesy of Mike. The fourth - the candy - I swiped from this blog.)

Alicia makes the soups every year. The one in the photograph is my favorite - it's a not-too-heavy cheesy vegetable - but she also makes a great corn chowder. The cupcakes were great, too - pumpkin with cream cheese frosting (and a little shot of frosting inside the cupcake itself). And the meatball subs...I'll write more on them later. They were the subject of much, much discussion, and the impetus for my quick trip to Parkville yesterday morning.

So, great food, funny costumes (including not one, but two, Juno-and-Bleeker combos - one of which involved a real pregnancy) and a crazy amount of toddler excitement.

Good Halloween, all around.

Ten-Plus Things I Love about Keuka Lake

The four days we just spent at Keuka Lake (sans kids) were some of the most relaxing days we've had all summer. There's a lot to love about the place - more, maybe, than can be captured in one short blog post. But I'm going to try:

1. The Kelly family collages that cover the upstairs walls of Alicia's family's cottage. They start in the late 70's/early 80's, right after Alicia's grandfather bought the place. They tell an awesome story - a story of a family and a story of hairstyles. And bathing suit styles, too. 2. The party boat. Who doesn't love a pontoon boat? Perfect for sunset cruises with wine and cheese, or for a quick morning fishing trip.
3. Frolicking. Alicia is a champion frolicker, on land and on sea. When she's got the neighbor's trampoline, she gets even more air than usual. (As an aside, the lake is cold. Take-your-breath-away cold.) 4. Lolabear. Yes, Lola actually lives in Maryland with Mike and Alicia. But she is such a great lake dog. All day, she lays on the dock, only getting up when somebody's caught a fish (and then, only to sniff it). Also in this picture: morning coffee on the dock, watching the lake. 5. Fishing. I don't fish, but Keuka provides a perfect vacation for the boys. Bill's idea of a great day involves a whole lot of sitting, while Mike and Cooper need a lot of variety to stay entertained. Somehow, fishing meets all of their needs. 6. Wine tasting. The Keuka Lake area has several wineries, some of which even make good wine. This was my second trip to Bully Hill (below), where the wine is so bad that even Jen and I had to spit some of it out. But as bad as the wine is, the wine-tasting experience is so much fun.

Aside: I actually had to spit most of it out, as I'd gotten myself "rose-ed" the night before - which is exactly what happens when I break my self-imposed "only drink rose while eating" rule. I made the rule for a reason. I should stick to it.7. The Pinegrove Inn. From the outside, it looks like a slightly gussied up trailer. Inside, the menu boasts just about every type of fried food known to man, and beers are all under $3. The service is super-friendly, too. Oh - and the drive there? If you get lost, like we did, and drive in circles, it just might be the most entertaining 30 minutes ever. Gravy fries and Labbatt's Blue Light at the Pinegrove Inn. Because it's important to save on the beer calories when you're eating gravy fries.

8. Gertrude and Mr. Nibbles. I am generally unsympathetic to ducks (unless they appear on my plate) but Alicia's family and their neighbors have made a bit of a pet out of Gertrude and her ducklings, including Mr. Nibbles. Jen picked up Mrs. Kelly's slack last weekend, rushing out with bread everytime they came around. Lola tagged along to watch and scare the duckies.
9. Watching sailboat races from the dock. Since this is one of my favorite activities at home, too, it's no surprise that I'd do it for hours at Keuka.
10. Clammin' and Jammin' at The Waterfront. Unfortunately, Jen and Bill had to leave on Sunday morning, but Cooper and I stayed through until Monday so we got a chance to spend Sunday afternoon enjoying a little live music and a whole lot of people-watching at The Waterfront, just down the street from the cottage. The music was really very good and watching the dancing was more entertaining than words can describe. We might have even done a little dancing ourselves...
The food at The Waterfront ranges from steamers and salt potatoes to, well, a lot of fried stuff, all served in handy plastic baskets.
We were lucky enough, too, to sit through three short rainstorms, which finally culminated in a pristine rainbow - a perfect way to close out the trip.
Some other things I love about Keuka Lake, but that are not pictured:

11. The way water shoes really lengthen the line of your leg.

12. Alicia's cinnamon buns and not eating any healthy food at all for four days.

13. Watching Cooper sit inside and beat Medal of Honor, jumping up and running out only when his fishing line got a nibble. (Also, yes, Cooper did wear that hat ALL THE TIME. It's his vacation hat.)

14. The way sitting around encourages us to make up games that work with or without drinking. The new one: someone picks a word, then each person in the group has to sing part of a song with that word in it. Hours of entertainment, guaranteed.

What a great, great trip.

[Pictures mostly taken by Alicia, Mike me.]